Diary of some pregnant blokes

[Footy Chick]

With 2 of our finest expecting within a week or so of each other- the next 6 months are going to veeeeery interesting!

Feel free to share (within reason and with permission) the journey with us

Im sure the anecdotes will keep us all amused

Those that have been there and done that, I'm sure Valleys07 will appreciate your words of wisdom

[Booney]

This will be, FANTASTIC.

Tip 1 - Make sure she does her pelvic floor exercises. ( This is done by pretending to hold a wee in ). If you don't get her to do this, for the remainder of your life you will need to be no further than 13 linear metres from a toilet. You will be jaw on the floor stunned at how quickly half a glass of champagne can expedite itself through your significant other.

[woodublieve12]

This will be, FANTASTIC.

Tip 1 - Make sure she does her pelvic floor exercises. ( This is done by pretending to hold a wee in ). If you don't get her to do this, for the remainder of your life you will need to be no further than 13 linear metres from a toilet. You will be jaw on the floor stunned at how quickly half a glass of champagne can expedite itself through your significant other.

i honestly just laughed out loud...

spot on too

[Booney]

Tip 2 - Do not, I repeat DO NOT at any point comment on how her ankles and calves seem to have merged themselves into one shapeless being. Don't ask why, just don't do it.

[Johno6]

Tip 1 (from Johno)

If your missus doesn't feel like having sex, A) Don't force her to. B) Don't do it with someone else.

[Booney]

This really should have been Tip 1.

Tip 3 - You are, for all intents and purposes one heartless bastard who simply doesn't understand anything,an idiot. Come to grips* with this, accept it for what it is and your life will be easier.

[woodublieve12]

Chances of getting much sympathy for anything for a very long time is almost at nil... winning an argument - nil....

[HH3]

Chances of getting much sympathy for anything for a very long time is almost at nil... winning an argument - nil....

This applies to any male when in the company of any female at any time. Not necessarily a pregnant one.

[Johno6]

Chances of getting much sympathy for anything for a very long time is almost at nil... winning an argument - nil....

This applies to any male when in the company of any female at any time. Not necessarily a pregnant one.

was about to say the exact same thing.

[woodublieve12]

yeah fair point... lol

[scoob]

bitches be crazy

[cracka]

When you go out (or even at home) & the better half is eating up big using the excuse "I'm eating for two", pour yourself another drink & say "that's ok, I'm drinking for two"

[tigerpie]

You open your eyes, first thing in the morning, and your HEAVILY pregnant wife is bending over putting on her knickers.
DONT SAY....thats not a sight you want to see first thing in the morning.....out loud!

[smac]

Focus on the positive.

You've gone to a designated driver locked in for quite some time.

[Phantom Gossiper]

Get ready for the hormones and the emotional roller coaster you have to deal with.. then when the baby is born they wont even remember

In the later months keep a toilet as close by as possibly - geez maybe even go out and buy a potty!

When the baby is born, encourage and stay positive especially if things like breast feeding are taking a while to come in, PND is a big thing and not enjoyable - for either party.

[woodublieve12]

ANd whatever you do, DO NOT say you'll be at the footy (either playing or coaching) and not the birth if it falls on a saturday even if you're joking... Apparently they don't see the funny side of it!!

[Booney]

If you say "You're looking good today babe" it would most likely be interpreted as you saying she looked like a hippopotamus yesterday.

If a complete stranger, most likely someone serving you at a baby goods store ( LMAO - good luck in those joints!! ) says "You're looking good today" it will be seen as an amazing compliment, that you, you bastard, never offer.

[MatteeG]

If you say "You're looking good today babe" it would most likely be interpreted as you saying she looked like a hippopotamus yesterday.

If a complete stranger, most likely someone serving you at a baby goods store ( LMAO - good luck in those joints!! ) says "You're looking good today" it will be seen as an amazing compliment, that you, you bastard, never offer.

Similarly, only other women get away with saying she is 'glowing'...

[Booney]

Yes, glowing from a woman = glowing.

Glowing from you = fat

[HH3]

I have to admit, i did make a fat joke to a pregnant womans face once. I thought I was being cheeky, and we would all laugh....nope...